In the world of executive careers and romantic relationships alike, there’s a common trap: assuming interest equals commitment. But sometimes, grabbing a cup of coffee is just that, coffee.
They Haven’t Asked You Yet: How Career Conversations Mirror First Dates
It happens all the time. A recruiter reaches out. A hospital expresses interest. Someone says, “We’d love to have a conversation.” And just like that, panic sets in. “Am I really ready for a new job?” “What if they make an offer?” “What will my team think if they find out I’m even considering this?”
Sound familiar? For many executives, the emotional leap from initial inquiry to full-blown job change can feel dizzyingly fast, much like jumping from a first date to planning a wedding. But here’s the truth: they haven’t asked you yet. No one has proposed. This is just coffee.
In both dating and career exploration, the early stages are about discovery. Who are they? What do they value? How do they operate? Can you envision a future there? These questions aren’t commitments; they’re conversations. And conversations come with zero obligation.
In fact, by taking the meeting, you gain insight. You learn how other organizations structure their leadership. You observe different cultural norms. You may even hear about innovative practices that inspire you to rethink something within your current team. Even if the opportunity doesn’t align perfectly with your current goals, the interaction itself can broaden your professional horizon. You may walk away with a new perspective, a useful contact, or simply a better understanding of your market value.
Healthcare is a small world. Relationships matter. And one of our guiding principles is this: “It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you.” That only happens when you put yourself in the room. When others begin to understand your strengths, your vision, and your values, they start to see where you might fit in. Maybe not now, but someday.
Also, keep in mind that these conversations go both ways. Just as they are evaluating you, you are also evaluating them. You’re gathering intel, getting a sense of whether their culture aligns with your leadership style, and understanding what kind of challenges or opportunities exist. The best professional decisions come from a foundation of informed understanding, not fear or assumption.
There is one caveat to this approach, you should always remain intentional regarding your career with defined criteria regarding the type of challenges you are seeking, advancement goals, desired culture and leadership styles, features of geographic locations to consider, and timing based on career and life stage. Knowing where you want to go is the best compass for arriving at your destination!
So maybe, just maybe, the coffee turns into something more. Maybe this is the opportunity you’ve quietly hoped for, one that aligns with your purpose and your ambitions. Or maybe it’s simply a meaningful conversation that builds your confidence and confirms you’re exactly where you need to be. Either way, you win.
So, the next time someone expresses interest, remember: You’re not saying yes to a job. You’re saying yes to a chat. You control the pace, the path, and the outcome.
They haven’t asked you yet.
Just enjoy the coffee.