Love is in the air. You’ve found the one – your work home. You’re excited to begin your lives together. And then, before the big day, they shove a piece of paper in front of you… a non-compete, the prenup of employment.
Non-Competes: The Prenup of Employment
They say, “I really love you! You’re the one!” But then comes the caveat: “Just sign this. You know, just in case things don’t work out. Statistically speaking, most relationships don’t last.”
Talk about a kick to the stomach.
What? Do they have doubts? Don’t they believe in us? Are they already planning for the breakup before we’ve even begun? Suddenly, what felt like commitment starts to feel like control. The existence of an “out” changes everything. Will they truly invest in this relationship? Or will they start taking me for granted? Leave their dirty socks on the floor? Stop listening when I speak? After all, they’ve got a backup plan.
And this isn’t just any out. It’s a restrictive, punitive clause. Not only do we part ways, but now I can’t date anyone else. No interim work. No contracting. No new job in the same zip code or defined market, sometimes for a whole year or more. It’s not protection. It’s a punishment. It’s entrapment.
Now I’m starting to see this differently. Let’s be honest, they’re not that special. There’s nothing truly proprietary here. They’re not Apple guarding the iPhone launch. Are they worried people will follow me? The metaphorical kids of the relationship? Or is it just fear, fear of competition, fear of change, fear of not being in control?
Entering any relationship from a place of fear is a red flag. Great professional partnerships, like great personal relationships, should be built on trust, mutual growth, shared engagement, and a commitment to excellence. They should bring out the best in both parties. Not preemptively plan for failure.
If an employer truly values you, they’ll work every day to keep you, not trap you. They’ll focus on being the best partner they can be, developing you, supporting you, championing your career. That’s the kind of relationship worth signing up for.
Because telling someone they can’t be with anyone else after the relationship ends? That’s not love. That’s control. And when it impacts your ability to earn a living, to pursue your calling, and to build a future, it crosses a line.
To be fair, some states and courts have begun to limit or challenge the enforceability of non-competes, especially in healthcare. There’s growing recognition that these agreements can restrict access to care and limit professional mobility. However, they still exist in many regions and can carry real consequences depending on where you live, what role you hold, and how the agreement is written.
So, if an employer ever slides that non-compete across the table before the big day, think long and hard. Read the fine print. Know what you’re signing. And if it doesn’t feel right, walk away. Run, if you have to!
To all of you in great relationships, personal or professional, Happy Valentine’s Day.♥
Here’s to the partnerships built on trust, respect, engagement, and shared ambition.